It's a bit of struggle to write the blog at the moment. The sun is shining, there are tulips on the windowsill, I've met a couple of deadlines recently, and real life is very real. Indeed, its pull is greater than that of the blog.
There is also another reason that I've been considering the blog recently, especially now that I have passed the six year mark in blogging. And this is that I feel I don't recognise the me that's in the blog as well as I used to, that's there's a separation between the blog me and the real me, and I am finding this a little wearing. I've read elsewhere that it is often the case with bloggers and Facebook users that we edit and present what we are comfortable with and end up denying or not revealing much of what really makes us tick. I know why I do it - it's to protect myself; after the maulings I received when my first book was published, it was hard ever to feel fully confident on the internet again. Of course, I dislike myself for feeling like this (but if you read Richard Mason's article in The Observer yesterday you would have got an idea of the impact that negative comments can really have) and wish I could be more devil-may-care. But I do care, especially about self-preservation.
I need more synthesis between the blog me and the real me if I can keep going here. Or maybe I solve the problem by changing the blog to suit me rather than the other way round? I'm off out for a walk and a think.