happily on my own

Something tells me that bloggers and readers of blogs are often people who enjoy their own company. Am I right?

I have just finished reading the unauthorised biography of Nigella Lawson (a £1.99 bargain at Oxfam and compulsive trash). By her own admission, our heroine hates being on her own and much prefers to be surrounded by friends, children and colleagues all day long. This, to me, would be hell.

I couldn't wait to get out of multinational companies to work for myself, I found having twins and then a third baby a huge invasion of my personal space (but simply had to get used to it), and I can work, write, sew, read, cook, knit or quilt all day long quite contentedly. My need for space, solitude, call it what you will, can become physical at times.

So school holidays are a mixed blessing. I love my children's company but by the end of the weeks I crave a little peace, quiet and time to myself. There is a huge difference between being happy on your own and loneliness, though, and the times alone work precisely because I know people will be around later in the day. I would be, and have been, crap at living on my own.

What I'm getting round to saying is this. I get the feeling that blogs and blogging are a way of interacting with other, like-minded people (although I'm sure some people come out just for a fight) but as and when it suits the individual. Much as I appreciate the whole idea of 'popping' in and out of houses or 'doing' lunch/coffee/shopping/the gym, I'd be quite unhappy if I had to keep answering the door or the phone and dropping whatever I was engrossed in. The blog is a wonderful compromise and I enjoy this sort of friendship and conversation enormously.

So this is a thank you post for everyone who has taken the time to comment or email me over the last eight weeks while I have been trying to swim with the school holiday tide. You have been my metaphorical armbands and have kept me afloat.

Oh, and Simon does his bit, too.

(The photo is the result of playing with a bag each of Smarties and Haribo Micro Mix. It's what you do when you've spent two months with children...)

Comments

[Heather]

Children are a wonderful inspiration; your thank you is beautiful. I love your color sense and your way with words. I enjoy dropping into your space. You are a gracious host. Thank YOU!.

[cecilie]

Thank you for putting to words what I struggle to say myself. I don't have kids, but I have been nodding and smiling and yes'ing for the whole post. Someone once said to me that she didn't like spending time alone, because it forced her to think. I have never looked at her the same way since. I'm desperate for alone time when it's been too long. Thank you for describing this craving so elegantly.

[Brigitte]

Yes, thank YOU! It's always a pleasure and joy to meet you, drop by, take a look and a read,and just feel tremendously good with this visit. I think you're right, for people like us, that is bloggers and blog readers alike, blogs provide a wonderful space for inspirational friendship with just the distance one needs or wants.

[Lynn]

I guess all the people person's don't have time for blogging -

Introspectives should rule the world! but they wouldn't want too.

Maybe blogging is the quiet person's revolution?

[herhimnbryn]

Oh Yes! I've said it before and I'll say it again.................
'Solitude is lovely, so long as you can talk to someone about it afterwards'. I adore being alone ( but not lonely).
Several of my posts have been about this topic you have raised so eloquently. Thankyou for the sweeties!

[Amy]

Precisely! Bravo! Amen! I'm propping myself up to get through the last day of the school holiday. Hold on!

[Amy]

I'm like you. It's so wonderful to be by myself now that everyone's gone back to school! In fact, I worry about my younger son, who's a lot like Nigella, apparently--can't seem to be content on his own. Oh well. To each his own.

[Mary]

So true! The children went back to school today and I'm loving a bit of solitude, for the first time in weeks.

[Kate]

Yes - you are so right! I don't understand people who get bored by themselves. I have small twins and I totally agree - I seriously miss the quietness as well.

[yvette]

I agree, I am waiting, quite impatiently, for Thursday, when everyone else will be out the house and the peace will all be mine!

[Debra]

Thank you. And yes. Most of the bloggers I know in person have the capability of being quiet, introspective, thinking individuals.

With blogging, we will (quietly) take over the world.

[Kristin]

I also crave solitude, but I chose to homeschool my kids. Now that they are older, I do get quite a bit of alone time when we are home. They are busy with their own projects, just as I'm busy with mine. So, you don't necessarily have to send them to school to get that peace and quiet.

Jane, I say thank you to you for providing me a respite from the daily grind. Blog reading is one way for me to get some of that solitude I crave.

[lucy]

thank you for giving us such a nice time reading your blog.

[Elena]

I love blogging as I don't have time to meet and be with my friends having two very small children (4 months and 1 year 10 months). If I had time I would probably spend a lot of time with people around me BUT then I would long for time on my own. I guess I am a person who love my own company but at the same time want to be with people all the time. Strange combination isn't it?

[Melissa]

Thanks for your post--you have articulated my personality exactly! I too enjoy solitude and need my space. It's nice to know that there is someone else out there in the world who feels the same way!
Melissa

[Sara]

Thank you for your honesty. There are truly not that many people who admit to "getting used to" their children and reveling in the quiet, creative times. Thanks for speaking for so many of us. :)

[Rebecca]

You have voiced it so well, as always. My solitude has been somewhat curtailed by my husband who recently started working from home again. Lovely as it is I found myself a little resentful of his presence today. I love the tranquil feeling of an empty house, just me the dogs and perhaps a little background Radio 4.

One of my daily self idulgences is to sit quietly with my morning tea, Woman's Hour in the background, while reading blogs.

[Gemma]

I think the blog world is the modern day version of the over the fence chat. You talk if you both happen to be around at the same time but without the pressure of actually entertaining!

I've always been more than happy with my own company and find too much enforced society makes me snappish and withdrawn. G returned to teaching this week too, which while it doesn't mean that I have the days free it does mean he is occupied again in the evenings leaving me free to do my own thing knowing he is entertained :-) by marking and planning! Solitude without being lonely in a way! Although what was the quote as never being so lonely as when you were in a crowd of people? (Deffo have to look that one up now!)

And finally, after much rambling thank-you to you Jane for your gorgeous blog with which I very much enjoy chatting over the fence with.

[Ness]

yes to you and your faithful readers - that's exactly it.

[Elizabeth]

I have a need for both company and solitude in daily life. I, too, like the idea of folk just popping in but when by chance they do I am flustered and horrified (the house is usually at it's most unpresentable, of course)
Wken my children were smaller, school holidays were hard to endure but now they are more independent I love having them home. That said, this morning was bliss when they all left. And of course, that double batch of cookies I made on Sunday for afterschool/lunches? There are three left.

[April]

As, an extroverted craver of solitude with 3 kids, I completely understand. I can tell my youngest is the same, he can play by himself for hours.

I did want to mention, however, not all introspective people are quiet. =) Lots of thinkers are quiet, as most of the other comments say, but some of us think deeply then speak our minds very unquietly LOL

[Carla]

I agree so much with you. My son went to school this week after one month of vacation and I just felt the same. I realy need my space, the time for myself to be happy.

[Celeste]

Thankyou for putting so eloquently what I've been trying to get my head around.
I'm rarely alone in the house as my other half is always here, but he sits in his room upstairs and I'm downstairs. We talk for a few minutes every couple of hours, but in essence we're loners.
We live in a town where we know no-one, so we never get people dropping in, and it's wonderful.
We still talk to our friends constantly online, and we visit them every couple of weeks, but the distance means visits have to be planned, and we can never wait till we get back home again.
Blogs let me keep in touch with real friends, and people around the world who I'd like as friends, without having the bother of interrupting my crafting time for visiting.

[Lesley]

Thank you for coming out of the closet - so to speak!lol. So often those of us who actually like our own company are looked at sideways by others who have a "normal" social life of being surrounded at all times by vast numbers of people.
I'm afraid I think the summer holiday is far, far too long and, though I love my children dearly, I also love September when they all go back.lol! Space to myself and peace to think,knit, sew, read, garden, dog walk..etc. (sigh) roll on Thursday. ;)

[Deborah]

Amidst the candy, there should be hair - I've pulled my hair out at times on my "vacation" with 3 teenage boys. Yesterday, the last day of summer vacation, my 15 year old came home with an earring... What next?